The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I am one with the molecules
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I party with great urgency now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize