You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
