so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
