I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
