So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
