while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
