And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
