I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
