So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
