ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
