he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
