I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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