Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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