Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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