I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My balls are so social today.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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