I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
