Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
