conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
