this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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