i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
