Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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