Nicole vs. Life
of course. lets lasso hookers.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
