butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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