you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
