He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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