I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
