dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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