I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
