Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
