hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
