i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
