Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I have already put on my inside pants.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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