Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
