He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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