I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
