He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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