Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
