I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
