K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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