I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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