I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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