he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
