is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
