I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
