Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
