I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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