Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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