My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
