Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
