There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize