trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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