i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize