You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
