....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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