I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
