I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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