Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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