I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
