fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
