he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I smell stomach acid.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
